have u ever stopped to ask yourself, where do you come from, who are u, and where are u going?

what is your goal in life? sure, u may tell others your ambition, your dreams and aspirations, but how much of it is what u want, what u personally desire? and how much of it is just a pretence, a front that u put up to shield yourself from the critical eyes of the world?

so many of my priorities, my dreams, my desires, are shaped by the people around me. what people expect of me, what they want me to do, but how much of it is really what i want? i never had the chance to stop and ask myself. life is short, and there is little time to waste. what do u really wanna do?

i was lost and confused. u know the period after jc when u find yourself shrouded by doubt and questions, wondering if whatever im doing is right. but in the end, when someone asked me if im happy doing what i do, i thought about it, truthfully, for the first time.

im glad for my life. its beautiful. there are many things that i would change, if i could, but there are unlimited wants in the world, how much longer can i hanker after things that arent really worth it?

im thankful for my family, who has been unwavering in their support and love. sure, there may have been differences, squabbles and thoughtless hurts, but the love that they gave me, unconditionally, is so precious and can not be taken for granted of.

my friends, so entertaining, amazing, and true. i mean, its rare to have a friendship that u are thankful for. u know, we may not be really close, we may not see each other as often as we wish, but its just amazing when u can have gatherings, reminisce about old times sake, and just while the time away..being merry and glad. and friends who u know, are there for u when u really need them. and am i glad i have quite a few! (and im not being hao lian at all here). u know who u are, and i love u and i thank God for u, again, u are so precious.

my career and studies.. how much more can i ask for?

do not even doubt how miraculous life is. its a wonder how anyone even survives the day. imagine, u get up in the morning, and u could knock your head on the bedpost and have a concussion. hahaha.. sorry. hmm, u could step into the elevator and be stuck there for a month and die of starvation. hmm, u could cross the road and get knocked down by a car. anytime, anyday. u know, anything could happen. and all the time, we are just acting by faith! its just that tiny bit of faith. do not tell me u are incapable of faith, u have it ALL the time.

now, just take the time to ask yourself what you really want. what u aim to achieve, never mind what people think or will think of u. life is short, and if you do not know what u want in life, its a life wasted.

i sound so final, but its what i need to do, u know? like stop! time stand still for just that half an hour, smile, rock in my chair, feel all blissful and complete. worship the Lord for such beautiful miracles. be thankful for what u have in life.. ahh..i feel like i could buy a house with a porch overlooking the sahara, and rock my chair as the sun sets. HAHA.

oh, and just in case u think im ditzy or bimbotic, im not! dont be jealous of my capacity for happiness