hi, im blogging in camp now cos im confined for the whole weekend. field camp this week was shacked. as in, i was so totally tired, having to walk yup and down everyday in sbo, helmet rifle is hell enough without having to march to ur campsite in full battle order. wads worse, we had to run up n down slope, proning behind trees sometimes jus collapsing on the ground to avoid enemy fire. plus tht doesnt include keeping still on one side to avoid creepy crawlies. having to dig drainages, shell scrapes, fire trenches was total shit too. luck not good, got an area which had rock hard ground. one power swing with the changkol up above ur head brought the blade .5 cm into the ground. little wonder why we took 16 hrs to complete one fire trench and two shell scrapes with 2 attend Bs and 4 of us working with practically no rest except toilet breaks and water parades.

we slept on a slope with lotsa rocks and didnt get to sleep much too. plus got turned out with thunder flashes and blanks shot at us. i guess this field camp brought out the worst and best in everyone. it is pretty clear and obvious who is in it just for the scholarship and who really wantes the best for the platoon. im sickened by people who act enthu in front of instructors and dun give a damn for their platoon mates when instructors are out of sight.

i have another confinement next sun and next fri is prob results day. im very scared becos im pretty sure its gonna be bad cos i totally screwed As. but faith or fear is not gonna do any good so i shall jus take each day as it comes.

have range next week so will prob be away frm wingline for long periods.

did i mention i miss kai? every moment in field camp, he is there in my mind. every sweat drop, every inch of fatigue i feel, the thought of happy memories, my family, charlton, friends, shoes, chicken, joyce, y8uth, they push me on. when i was told i was confined for the weekend, i broke down cos ive been looking forward to meeting shoes and the rest this weekend. and kai. i miss them lots. and i cant imagine not seeing them for another week. but as they say, physical presence is not tt impt as long as there is mental support. and im sure they are all rooting for me. ill be strong.