watching the news reports about the horrible quake that occured on the 26th of Dec. man, i know i had a tough xmas and a horrible boxing day, but now i seem all childish whining and whimpering over a lil trouble with my family while pple in sri lanka etc have just lost their entire family in a tiny whooooosssHHh down the coast. i just gotta learn to be more thankful for whatevers in my life.

In the year 2004, although i didnt keep up much contact w nyco peeps, y8uth, pri school friends, huangcheng friends, i made many many many new friends and close bonds which i treasure. for eg, kai. shoes(my better half).chicken.hong.naz.paul.xiaoli. oh ya, not forgetting all my 11 friends. pretty sad tat i dun really tok to keely or ade anymore, i should get them all to come out someday, and i ahven even gone out with xiya, jinteng, yunfei, jingyi, qinlei.argh. i wish i had more time.

jus realised that my posts dun really make much sense. i think i blog for my own personal pleasure, tat years down ill look back and see how absolutely childish i am. i wouldnt be complaining about lousy parent child relationships, bloody tiring housework or even school stress. i wouldnt be thinking suicidal thoughts, speaking of which i hope the pple doing my med checkup wont notice the scar i have after i tried slitting my wrists on xmas. i wish my parents understood me more. or jus grant me the gift to understand them. many times, i do not half understand whaat the hell they get so agitated about or why they even say such hurtful words. i know ive committed many sins in the past. but to me, they do not mean much cos i was still a child, ignorant of the many implications of my actions. can i turn back time? to forgive n forget. that is the ultimate task, but still, to hold the hurt inside u tears u apart.